i wonder why sometimes i do things and say something i'll regret later. sometimes, i regret even on the silly little things that i shouldn't even be regretting. they say we should let go, but occasionally we can't. i can't.

it feels miserable to feel regrets, something i wish to turn back time just to do it the way i want.
but i can't.

right now it's only affecting me, but what happens if it affects someone else? and the person can only get hurt, worse even still if the person is a close and meaningful person to me. i wonder what would happen then?

perhaps i'm just reading and dwelling it too much since it's been such a long time since i did dwell on something. maybe i shouldn't be so muddled and so morbid. occasionally i can't help it though, cause within my heart, i feel for these things that takes up my preoccupied mind. i guess when it comes it comes.

pride.

damn, sometimes the pride within me may hurt other people and afterwards probably me the most and soon more after that. i wish sometimes i can conquer the pride i have, within me, outside me etc.

it's strange, although recently i ignored my pride and started asking more questions so that i can reduce my ignorance i often get mocked at. which makes me wonder somtimes i should question or just cover up my ignorance, but i figured i won't learn anymore that way.

so i wonder, sometimes who's the one who will gain.

sometimes we're afraid,
but we have to conquer the fear to be better,
then who we are currently.
hard as it may be,
as often we may get laughed and mocked up,
don't give up,
cause then you'll be better then you already are.

sometimes i have to live by my own sentences.